Breaking up with Kwaj

I haven't even been off the rock for a day, but I already feel some healing in the gaping hole in my heart. I keep trying to equate the feelings of leaving that magical little island for good and the only comparison I can come up with is it feels like breaking up with your first love. When I would travel off island I would find myself longing for my little paradise and counting the days and hours until we would be reunited. I was able to look past its flaws and see all the great things it had to offer. I got so attached that to Kwaj that I couldn't imagine life without. My little island and I lived happily for a few years; it provided me with more memories and experiences in 4 years than most people have in a lifetime. Then one day an opportunity presented itself to me and helped me realize that even though I loved my little island and it had always been great to me, it could never give me everything I desired in life. It was a fairly quick, but extremely painful parting of ways. Even though I initiated the break up, many tears fell and my heart was shattered when the airport door was locked behind me and I knew there was no turning back. I cried for over 2 hours straight trying to rationalize how I could get my little island to take me back, but knowing it was too late. In those emotional moments I felt lost and alone for the first time in 4 years. As I was about to start panicking a friend appeared and wrapped his arms around me; he just held held me and let me stain his shirt with tears for a few minutes until I boarded the plane. I must have look pretty pitiful, three strangers gave me hugs and the flight attendants kept bringing me extra water and checking in with me. In the few moments after the plane took off all I could think about was leaving behind the safety and security I had felt for 4 years and the second family that I didn't know how I could live without. Tears continued to streak my face until the plane reached Kosrae. As the plane sat on the ground, I made no eye contact and spoke nothing for fear it would set me on another downward spiral of tears and emotions. The flight continued on from stop to stop; my brain lost in memories of Kwaj and trying to force myself to be excited for my future. I tried to focus on what I was gaining, but was overwhelmed with what I was losing. By the time I landed in Guam I was physically and emotionally exhausted. One of the flight attendants left me with some encouraging words, "You will always have the island blood running through you. It is something special and you take it with you wherever you go." Then he gave me a hug and wished me the best in Japan. In that moment I realized that even though I am no longer on Kwaj, it will always be with me in my heart, my memories, and in the lifelong friends it gave me. While I am still broken from the events of the day and know it will take me a while to fully grasp everything, I am starting to anticipate my future and be hopeful that I might love place again like I love Kwaj.

Moral of my story: Breaking up is hard to do and ultimately every person on Kwaj will leave the island and have thier own break up story, but remember you have island blood running through you.